Woke up early today, had plans to workout to get back into shape. Those plans fizzled as quickly as the sugar in my morning coffee. It seems I have been letting go of a lot of "plans", or postponing things that I know I used to like to do. I know it sounds cliche but at 32 I feel as though I don't know who "I" am anymore. Each attempt to feel something that I used to connect to in my past just leaves me feeling more empty.
Moving on, I am going house hunting today. It is rather interesting to see how other people decorate, try to modernize, and make appealing giant heaps of garbage. Most do not even have sellers disclosures,(not sure I understand that one, how am I supposed to be motivated to buy your house if I have no idea what has been done to it), it seem to be process that I do not see ever ending. I can not find one single house that does not have paneling or some really awful attempt at couture. Buying a house is stressful, this isn't like walking away from a rental. I would it could be related to picking up some women at the bar and taking her home for an evening of fluid exchanges. Sure at the time it seems like a fun exciting, almost non-consequential idea, 9 months later the price tag is a little more than the four shots it took to get myself to look appealing. I envision as soon as I sign off on the house the earth begins to shake and the house falls to a heap.
I think I worry too much .......
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